dimanche 2 décembre 2012

Let's talk about fear baby!!

I am afraid of the dark , I am afraid of spiders, I am afraid of diying, I am afraid of expressing myself, I am afraid of who I am and of who I am not. I am afraid of failure, I am afraid of succeeding; I am afraid of violence, war, integrists, poverty... I am afraid of you. but don't want to frighten you. I am afraid of change...

Fear is a word I hear a lot recently, not spelled out loud, but underneath it's there very often guiding our acts and ways of reasoning. So the question is: how do I get rid of those damn fears that are preventing me to act as I would like to, to dare and to live, to reach a specific goal. Mainly to step through and exist, just as I am, just with whom I am?

Once upon a time I thought that I could name and write each of those fear on a little piece of paper, put them in a paper bag and watch them burn out! But...
It did not work, I realize that they were never going to disappear just like that. I had to free myself in another way. So I asked myself: What do I love to do that is not scaring me, that I really enjoy? What do I do when people don't look at me?
Well, I love to dance, I love to play (yep! I am a gamer, PS, PC, you name it) and I love cinema.

Make a movie.
Here is the film going in my head: everytime I am aware of a fear rising, and it is important to aknowledge that you have fears, I invite it to dance with me, waltz, tango, macarena, merengue... depending on my mood,  I am the leader of the dance, eventually step on fear's foot ( I can set the rules I want, I am the direcor!), I look at it and dress it in a ridiculous outfit, so I can smile or even laugh, and yes, feel good about it.

If the fear is bigger, I am Lara Croft, I know that I have to fight a big boss to level up, it is not easy but it will help me to get to the next level and go on enjoying the game, (makes me feel like Morpheus when he is learning how to fight to Neo, actually he is dancing).

I stand in front of this huge  horrible creature (The Cracken was a hard one) and I am strongly grounded, the miracle is that finally, I enjoy the fight, thinking: gonna getcha!!! I enjoy 'the process", I feel my teeth and strengths growing until I beat the horrible thing off, the more I die, the more I want to beat it. I am sure that you get the mindset. Once you have it (that  particular mindset), keep it, feel it, see it, hear it and do whatever you have to do. See yourself in your film, you are an actor AND an observer. That particular fear will fade away for a while, at least for the length of the event you have to step in.
In two words: TAKE CONTROL.

Do it, do it, do it!!
We can all wish for something, but have you noticed that when the moment comes, we find excuses, because fear creates discomfort. Self-doubt is an equivalent to self-sabotage. Question is: are you willing to exchange some short term discomfort to get long-term success? Taking action is the best way to confront your fear, accept it and keep your reached objective in mind once and for all, then forget about the results and throw yourself in the process. You know what? You might succeed and probably will... And if you don't, say to yourself: everything is still all right! Good news is there is no failure, just feedback on how you have to proceed the next time.

By the way, Neo fighting Morpheus is a complete coaching session; I'll come back to it later...

2 commentaires:

  1. ok, but our fears help us to grow up and to build our own picture of life. Lots of theories are borned from fears.

  2. Very true Olivier, that's why i propose to aknowledge them and play or dance with them, maybe a way to grow too?